Gaps in my digital calendar . . .

I’ve used digital calendars to organize my life for more than a decade, long before they were integrated with cell phones. I enter EVERYTHING into these devices – appointments, meetings, conference calls, birthdays, deadlines, . . . even when to take out the trash and recycling. If it’s a time-dependent event that needs to be performed or attended to by me, then it is digitally logged. No exceptions.

But I recently made a startling discovery: since the discovery of the heart tumor I have not entered a single medical-related appointment in my calendar. Not one. All other activities continue to be faithfully logged. But for medical appointments I have instead relied on the prehistoric method – a handwritten appointment card or note.

Two potential explanations for this uncharacteristic departure from long-standing protocol occur to me: 1) I am hoping to miss an appointment or two, or 2) I am subconsciously establishing boundaries as to the extent to which this thing will be allowed to intrude on my life.

Maybe both.