Report from the Battlefront

One of the things I struggle with on a daily basis is how to monitor the progress of this battle. Am I gaining ground? Losing ground? Ideally, I’d have a way to regularly measure the size of the various tumors. But this isn’t gonna happen short of buying a million-dollar imaging machine and hiring a technician that doesn’t know the difference between a keyless entry system and a can opener to operate it for me.

But there are indirect means of monitoring progress that may provide some clues. Following are the tell-tale signs that I have been monitoring that may be indicators as to what’s occurring inside the dust and smoke of the battlefield:

Weight: This is a double-edged sword because weight loss implies wasting and weight gain suggests fluid retention (a byproduct of my compromised heart which is a byproduct of the cardiac tumor which is a byproduct of who knows what). I have slowly gained a few pounds over the last couple of weeks and my weight seems to have stabilized at about 161. I consider that to be good.

Tiredness: I sleep about 8 hours a night and take an afternoon nap when I can that lasts between 30 and 90 minutes. It’s difficult to make much sense of the pattern and what does being tired mean anyway? That I’m getting my butt kicked? That I’m kicking butt? That the Chinese teas are wearing me out (as they are prone to do)? I’ve felt more energetic over the past few days but I consider this to be statistically insignificant at the moment so a definitive statement on this front would be premature. Will continue to monitor.

Back Soreness: Remember the “kidney soreness” I referred to when I was taking the Lasix? Well the soreness persisted long after the Lasix was discontinued and the recent imaging studies revealed that a tumor is lurking in one of the muscles in my lower left back. I have not experienced discomfort in this area over the past few days (except when driving) despite the fact that I now sleep on the ground. There is definitely a marked improvement in this area and as such I consider it to be a good sign.

Winded on Exertion: This is another byproduct of the congestive heart failure (CHF). I have made steady progress in this area and it is continuing. So I consider this to be a positive sign.

Swelling of feet/ankles: Another byproduct of CHF. Experienced some minor swelling the last two days but it is gone this morning. The jury is still out on this one.

Lung Congestion: Yet another byproduct of CHF. No longer detectable by an MD with a stethoscope, and I no longer cough. At all. Major progress on this front.

Heart Murmur: Yes, that pesky CHF again. Decreasing in intensity according to doctor’s examination notes. I consider this to be a very good sign despite ambivalent medical opinion as to its meaning.

Intensity of Heartbeat: Seems to be calming somewhat over the past few days. Needs more observation over a longer period to say anything definitive.

Size of Lumps: The tumors in the left buttock are palpable. Very difficult to tell on a daily basis what might be happening to their size. Needs to monitored over longer period.

Dizziness: I was experiencing brief dizzy spells every couple of days a year ago, and they persisted into first couple of months of this year and then have for the most part not returned (only one episode in the last six months and that was six weeks ago). Not sure at all what this means.

Shooting Stars: Observed in my peripheral vision several times a day. Only last a second or two and not accompanied by any dizziness. No idea what this means but I will continue to monitor its frequency.

Xiphoid Process: This is the small piece of cartilage that hangs down below your sternum. Earlier this year, for the first time in my life, I noticed that mine protruded outward and to the right side. I brought this to the attention of my doctor in January, but he said that it had probably always been that way and that I just noticed it because of my weight loss (due to dietary changes). I told him I was certain that it had never been like that before, but I had better things to do than stand around and argue about it. I asked him to x-ray it when I saw him again in July because I wanted to be sure it wasn’t tumor related. The x-rays were normal in that respect. But the ball was now rolling toward MRIs and CT scans and the discovery of all that we now know. Anyway, one of the things that was identified in the subsequent imaging studies is that my heart in “slightly” enlarged and is enveloped in a large sac of fluid, both conditions the result of the cardiac tumor. I am now convinced that the outward, rightward displacement of my xiphoid process is the result of the enlarged heart. And it appears to me that the protrusion of this piece of cartilage is not as pronounced now as it once was. More monitoring is required, but I am encouraged.


Overall, I’m pleased with the status of the battle thus far. And I haven't even brought the gorilla into the fray yet. I'd pity those poor tumors if I didn't despise them so much . . .