Thoughts . . .

“Depend on it, sir, when a man knows he is to be hanged in a fortnight, it concentrates his mind wonderfully.” (Samuel Johnson, September 19, 1777)

Of course I don’t have a schedule, nor have I been sentenced (that I know of), but it is an immutable consequence of finding yourself in a predicament like mine that it . . . well, it “concentrates your mind wonderfully”.

And so I think about all sorts of things as I stumble through these uncertain days. But mostly I wonder whether I have lived my life in a manner that celebrates the incredible gift that was bestowed upon me on November 13, 1957. Have I been a “good” person? Have I fully engaged myself in this business of being alive?

To undertake a full assessment of my failures as a human being is not practical as there are not enough hours in eternity to rope and wrestle that steer to the ground. But I do see trends. And it would appear that most of my failures have been the result of confusing relative importance in matters of style and substance. Life is a string of choices, one after another. The choices we make are influenced by a million different competing interests. In the end, we apply filter after filter until we arrive at a decision, for better or for worse. And I wonder how the hell I’ve arrived at some of the filter sets I’ve applied.

But I’m at peace with the choices I’ve made since I’ve come to understand and accept the seriousness of my current predicament. And so I resolve from this date forward to make life choices as if I am to be “hanged in a fortnight”. It’s a lot easier to make good decisions with such clarity of thought.

And I suggest a little mental exercise for those of you reading this blog. Pretend that you have a fortnight (two weeks) to live. Are you satisfied with where you ended up? What if the one sure path out of your predicament required that wholesale changes be made in all aspects of your life . . . what changes would you make?

After that little exercise you will be faced with a choice: just because you very likely have more than two weeks to address any identifiable shortcomings, can you afford to procrastinate in making any necessary changes?