First Law.

I’m somewhere over the Atlantic as I write this. My back is to Los Angeles and the Boeing 777 is hurling me toward Paris at about 700 mph. After a three-hour layover in France I’ll be on my way to Amman, Jordan.

I just returned from the bathroom where I purged a mixture of urine and blood. This happens frequently enough that it no longer fazes me, even at 38,000 feet. Someday it will resolve itself or it will be resolved, but I’ve got bigger fish to fry at the moment.

In addition to the well chronicled litany of health issues, I now have the dubious honor of adding a pinched nerve to the list. This started to the left of my spine just below my shoulder blade. Over the last couple of weeks it has migrated around my left side and across my chest, stopping at the sternum. The skin sensation in this strip is an odd combination of numbness and burning – classic signs of a nerve pinch. Although trabectedin has been implicated in nerve damage in some patients, it really isn’t possible to say whether the chemo is the causative element, is exacerbating the problem, or is completely unrelated.

I visited the chiropractor the afternoon before my departure, and then again first thing in the morning the day of departure. This guy was able to help me with a similar complaint several years ago after ineffective treatments with acupuncture and massage therapy. We’ll see what happens this time. While the pain isn’t too bad during the day, it really escalates at night when I lay down and try to sleep. Should put an interesting twist on recovery from jet lag. But I’ve got lots of Advil with me and that should do the trick. If I can just stay off the donkeys and camels . . .

So did I consider cancelling the trip given all that I have going on? Nope. Why not? A couple of reasons. First of all, given the flurry of activity over that past several days to ensure that I received all the necessary approvals to travel, a cancellation at this point would likely mean that I wouldn’t see another contract again from the Department of the Interior. And this is a great opportunity to experience some of the Middle East and get paid for it. But most importantly, I absolutely refuse to yield one inch to this bitch called cancer.

And that leads me to Paul’s First Law: Don’t let the process of staying alive get in the way of being alive.

Postscript: I’ve landed in Amman Jordan. Uneventful (maybe even enjoyable) journey so far. Now let’s see if I can get to sleep before tomorrow morning’s project kickoff meeting.