. . . since I last wore a diaper. When worn by someone my age, euphemistic format now modifies the name of this undergarment to “brief”, and I hope and expect that my dependency will be just that: brief.
Nevertheless, this revelation will hopefully provide you with some understanding of life at the moment: total dependency on others for the most basic of human needs. My legs are not functional but still have sensation – I’m told that is positive indicator regarding potential improvement. I have lost control of my left hand so keyboard entry is a struggle.
After many false starts I was finally transferred to a rehabilitation facility last week. That means a minimum of three hours of physical therapy each day. The pain has been so intense at times it has made me cry. But the pain meds have been adjusted and it appears that we have finally identified a cocktail of compounds that satisfactorily addresses the various issues which are 1.) surgical pain resulting from the dismantling and titanium rebuild of twelve vertebrae (C4 to T8); 2.) bone pain related to spinal tumors that could not be resected during the surgeries; and 3.) nerve pain caused by tumor impingement on nerves outside and adjacent to the spine.
Radiation therapy to the spine is scheduled for this week. We are told that this is an effective way to knock down remaining tumor activity, so hopefully we will see improvements relating to functionality and pain. This procedure will round out my participation in all three treatment modalities that modern medicine has to offer people like me: surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation therapy. And through it all I have somehow managed to generally maintain normal vital signs and blood test results.
I once again need to express my appreciation for the love and support that family and friends have shown. Thank you Mom and Dad, Jan, Karen and Tracey, Taylor, Karin and Brian, Laura and Gary, and Beverly for your visits. Thanks to non-family for your love and support and for understanding that I am not yet up for additional visitors at this time but look forward to when that may change. And of course, to Cecily who has not left my side during this latest ordeal – she is a constant source of strength, optimism, determination, and unconditional love.
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5 comments:
It is an honor and a privilege to bear witness to your unbelievable strength and courage. Your unwavering optimism and determination are sources of strength for all who love you. Cecily-you are an angel...
XOXO, Karen
Paul,
10,000 Blessings! I wish I (we) could do more than pray and have positive thoughts, but always know there is an army of friends, family and others here standing for you!
Always,
Al
Hi Paul, your optimism and good humor, "must read" blogs and horrendous medical hurdles keep me glued to each new chapter.
If and when you are ready for outside-the-family visitors, particularly if you remain for awhile in SB rehab institute (I think you are there?), I would love to visit. You have become a pretty nifty protagonist in this book of yours; I think about you often and always wish you well.
So - charge ahead, stay focused and keep up with those pain meds!
Cindy
God bless you and your family for all that you have been through! I know that I can speak for the family and tell you and Cecily how much we love the fact that you let us into so much of a very private ordeal. We love you Paul!
The Gibsons
I think the ice skater, Scott Hamilton, hit the proverbial nail on the head with the quote to the effect that "the only true disability in life is a bad attitude." You and Cecily are certainly THE role models for how positive thinking and determination can help to overcome some pretty daunting obstacles in life. I send positive thoughts and love to you both daily. And I appreciate how appreciative YOU are of the love and support you continue to receive from your family and friends. You are NOT alone! Love, Jan
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