I picked up my MRI images and radiology report this afternoon. I said that I would post an image. But I’m not going to. I wouldn’t know where to start.
The findings reveal multiple intramuscular “masses” (read tumors) as well as multiple bone “lesions” (also read tumors) scattered throughout the visualized pelvic and upper thigh regions. (There was apparently no evidence of local recurrence of the tumor that was resected seven years ago, however.) The reviewing radiologist has concluded that “. . . these findings indicate diffuse metastatic disease.” This is worse than the worst news I thought I might hear.
“Nature is what she is – amoral and persistent.” (Stephen Jay Gould)
Always looking for a silver lining, I can think of at least four positive things to say:
1. I still feel great;
2. I suspect that I won’t be asked to endure open heart surgery;
3. My lack of retirement planning may have been the proper planning;
4. This might be a good time to fulfill my longstanding dream of becoming a heroin addict.
Just kidding about #4. At least at this time.
It looks like I have a steep mountain to climb. But I’ll think of something. I always do.
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Paul: Like everyone who loves you, I am devastated at hearing this news... and though it's tempting, I refuse to give in to despair. Please forgive my post but it’s all I know to say…
You know me well enough to know I’m a terrible, cynical, and utterly doubting Christian – so I’m not one who goes scripture-quoting as some naïve means to aid anyone in whose shoes I am not walking. But I am a preacher’s daughter, and if you opened any artery in my body you’d find pieces of the good word floating around there among the platelets and the whites and reds… That’s just what you get when you take me on as a friend. I know it’s generally not your cup of tea, but by inheritance it is mine, and I merely offer you a sip of the only drink I have. I hope you will receive it in that spirit.
The following keeps swirling around my head each moment I think of you – which is every single bloody moment of the day and night:
“We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken, struck down but not destroyed…”
It's somewhere in 2nd Corinthians and there’s a bunch of stuff after it that goes somewhere I just plain don’t understand. We’ll just skip that part.
So finishing the thought myself and offering it to you, I say this:
“We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken, struck down but not destroyed. We are never left to carry our burdens in isolation, and we are never alone... YOU are now and forever will be in the company of family and friends who love you and will walk beside you up every last mountain; no matter how steep, no matter how high, no matter the terrain.”
K
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