Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Shoulder to shoulder.

Today I’m scheduled to meet with a Chinese herbalist and then have a core biopsy performed of a tumor in my backside by a vascular surgeon. The biopsy should confirm the type of cancer and determine its aggressiveness. East and West, baby, shoulder-to-shoulder.

I’m not impressed with Chinese herbs that come in capsule form. That’s too . . . western. Like many products we consume, I think a lot gets lost in the processing. I prefer to source Chinese herbs from a supplier that has dried lizards hanging from the walls. The guy grabs a lizard, shoos away the flies, grabs a mortar and pestle, and grinds away. I like my voodoo straight up, thank you.

After that, it’s off to get shot in the butt with a nail gun. Multiple times. That dried lizard sounds pretty good right now, doesn’t it?

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